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Pandas and Comedians

it's okay.

I cannot find much to say these days on the topic of my life. Mostly, I have been lounging around long into the afternoon only to emerge from my slumber to the harsh heat of the Santa Anas. The weird thing is that I don’t even know what the wind IS and how it makes me hot during the day. I feel like a meteorological IDIOT.

One theme of my life here in SO CAL is the fact that I feel comfortable being drunk. When I was 18 I took too much drugs, ended up at hospital, got kicked out of school and then suffered PTSD and it took me until I was 23 to be able to casually drink again. The question is: How is this a good thing? It seems like I could inevitably fall into the native-american trap where alcohol will fasten itself tightly around my frail ankle like a bear trap and only let me go when I gnaw my way through my tender, juicy flesh! Though… I take it easy. I am the zen buddhist of drunk.

So… what has SO CAL bestowed upon me in the past few months? I feel silly, reckless and yet anxious about my future. A part of me feels as though I will NEVER be gainfully employed again unless I succumb to my training as a barista and become a barista again. I am sad and I want to wake up from the nightmare of internships and woe… how do I become successful without anything to start with save for an education?!

I am tipsy and trailing off. I feel bad for not updating and I feel stupid for getting left behind. Look at me! A success post-grad. I love movies!

Posted 31 October 2008 † MoniqueNoir § // alligator thrills // ‡ Comments (0) ° Tagged: ,

alex is going to bed, knowing that the world would continue to burn while he dreams of a sheep or two.

In the future, men will wear t-shirts displaying a picture of their cock and salary.

Women will come in twos, for the monogamous woman will have long been bred out of nature in favor of the ménage à trois kind, so that finally, manly hunters can indulge in Miller-Lite fantasies and proudly gather their 15 seconds of commercialized ejaculation.

Light from stars will shine through atmospheric cut outs of corporate slogans, beaing onto Earth great advertisements from the sky.

Metal will erect into clouds. You will stroke the building, riding it floor to floor, inserting yourself completely. You will let it warm you and feed you, nourishing insulation, fuck your Mother.

Serial TV will be wired throughout your skull, and you will shut your eyes to internally display the good ol’ pastime for your vacarious mind.

Everything will exist outside ourselves as ends, and though there will be means to everything, these means will be owned and assumed. As flies stuck in the web, we will be born as we are caught, our dreams and the last measure of freedom we would have sought.

Life will be an ant farm.

Numbers will bleed from the sky - philosophy splashed with rhetoric and rationalism, churchmongers choking on faith pills.

Music will be reduced to one simple tone, perfectly balanced, the ultimate hook, impossible to forget and intrinsically unchallengeable.

Children will virtually kill each other virtually.

Politicians will set up lemonade stands.

Oceans will be drained for real estate and land owners will display souvenirs of rusty Coke cans found littered in their sand yards.

Pornography will acend to glamorous photos of shiny cars and you will jerk off to such aspirations.

Yin and Yang will go to war.

Physically defective people will be quarantined to parks where families vacation to feel better about funtionality.

There will be no place for error.

And here now, I sit around perplexed, a stale pesticide.

In the past, I was a poet, full of diction and intellectual jargon, in love with wordy ideas and mesmerizing language, verbose for the sake of…

I hardly try anymore.

In the future, I never existed.

Steven Morgan

Posted 30 October 2008 † alex thebez § // nothing is // ‡ Comments (2) ° Tagged: , , , , , ,

some place north of gastown.

Posted 30 October 2008 † alex thebez § // the photoblog // ‡ Comments (1) ° Tagged: ,

marisa observes alex and his friends.

Posted 28 October 2008 † alex thebez § // the photoblog // ‡ Comments (0) ° Tagged: , ,

mcdonald’s

holy shit. i think ronald eats children.

Posted 24 October 2008 † alex thebez § // we find things // ‡ Comments (0) ° Tagged: , ,

alex saw mister lonely.

I don’t know if you know what it is like to want to be someone else, to not want to look like you look, to hate your own face and to go completely unnoticed. I have always wanted to be someone else. I have never felt comfortable the way I am. All I want is to be better than myself, to become less ordinary and to find some purpose in this world. It is easier to see things in others, to see things you admire and then try and become that. To own a different face, to dance a different dance, and sing a different song. It is out there waiting for us, inviting us to change. It is time to become who we are not. To change our face and become who we want to be. I think the world is a better place that way.

- michael jackson in mister lonely

Posted 24 October 2008 † alex thebez § // nothing is // ‡ Comments (0) ° Tagged: ,

plastic tree, that sprays water at people in the summer.

Posted 22 October 2008 † alex thebez § // the photoblog // ‡ Comments (1) ° Tagged: ,

paul and sam at the vancouver aquarium.

Posted 22 October 2008 † alex thebez § // the photoblog // ‡ Comments (0) ° Tagged: , , ,

Why focusing a board feels so fucking great.

Sick for two days, tonnes of school work, waking up late because I cough until like 2 to 3 in the morning. I feel as if I’ve done 100 push ups a day when I wake up after a night of coughing fits. So I decided I would try and go skateboard, you know sweat some of that sickness out. No, I should have said no, you’re a cranky bitch who hasn’t smoked in two days this is fucking bad idea.

There it is though, in all its glory. I tried to kick flip, the most simple of objects, a drain lid. I tried about 4 times, then i fucking snapped. My muscle memory shot from two months no board time and my lungs gasping for air from the same time off the board. I snapped, my vision went white and in front of a few of my peers, People my age. I slammed my foot down on the middle of the board hearing a satisfying “CRACK” and then i proceeded to throw it around til it broke in half.

You know what this means. Time for a new beginning. I fucking put all my laziness and lethargy in that board and fucking snapped it in half. Put all those dopey smiling feel good worthless ass emotions that smile and say hi but smear your fucking kitchen full of mustard and cheese but never clean it up, so you smell like mustard and cheese. On the inside, laziness, lethargy, entitlement. Put in a skateboard, snapped the fuck in half. Cold blooded emotional murder through a inanimate object. See what makes skateboarding beautiful is that the boards are made to be broken. To be “focused” where you focus all your fucking hatred on that piece of shit and destroy it. Then go buy a new one and just skate on, it is a socially acceptable way to throw something around and break it with no long term negative re-percussion’s (a broken board and no cash to buy a new one being an exception, but i wouldn’t break the board if you know that is going to happen).

Also now i have cool diy shelves and other things I can used my broken boards for. Art, whatever, broken boards serve many re-usable purposes. So many advantages to breaking a board. I could go on for hours.

Posted 21 October 2008 † iancorrigan § // clocked out // ‡ Comments (4) ° Tagged: , , ,

james, for our first studio assignment.

Posted 21 October 2008 † alex thebez § // the photoblog // ‡ Comments (0) ° Tagged: , , ,