are you muffins? muffincups, yes i am muffins.

I sit alone in an empty apartment, imagining all the things that I should be doing. Thanks to Mister Yong Haan, I have Cassino’s American Low stuck in my head.

I take things for granted, I really do. I take my friends for granted too, but more then often they take me for granted too. That’s just how things are.

I watched The Strangers a couple of nights ago. It blew me away. It really did. It was a really good movie. Like. Really, really good. I haven’t seen a horror movie that got me that excited in awhile. Then, I got home and watched Albert Lamorisse’s Red Balloon. I don’t understand why I hadn’t seen this movie earlier. Seriously. Wow.

Hah. Watching all these movies make me want to be part of a movie crew again. Although I am still kind of part of one. Yeah. I want to make movies again. Boo.

I don’t know what’s going on with Pitter, Patter. I know this might sound needy, but I’m one of those people who constantly need to know what’s going on. And it just seems that nobody is telling me what’s going on. I really hope that the movie will be finished, sooner than later preferably. Because… I don’t know, really… it was like my first movie. At least one that I can proudly show people and tell them that I did it. No matter what they’d think of it.

Oh yeah. I picked up Brazil on criterion too. And jesus christ. I love you Terry Gillian ( Even though Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas still scare the shit out of me.)

I’m an asshole, and often a loner. I love my friends, but often time I prefer to be on my own. Especially lately. I have this problem where I would ditch people. Yeah. I’mma piker biatch! Because. I don’t know. I really prefer to stay at home, sometimes. Or just spend some time on my own. Doing shit on my own. Yeah.

Not like I’ve done anything productive in the past month. Oh well, I know I keep saying that I’ll do something productive. But I don’t know. Val would agree, that I’m a spoiled brat. I am. I make excuses. And then I make more excuses. I want shit served to me, served to me fast, and on a diamond studded silver spoon (held by Keira Knightley or maybe Whitney Houston on a good day.)

I don’t want to be stuck here in Asia anymore. I want to get to NYC and actually start shit up there. It’s weird. I think one thing that’s stopping me from creating or being productive is mainly that whole limbo syndrome. I don’t like to make things when I’m in transition. Which is a bad thing, especially if transition lasts for almost 3 months.

Anyway.

Yeah.
Make shit.

The trailer for BLINDNESS is fucking amazing by the way.